What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

HELLO

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

What is one small habit that has transformed your life in unexpected ways?

{RING} {RING}

After a few moments he returns.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Why do I sweat between my legs all the time, top off my legs, all way down?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

How do I get over a long-term relationship breakup?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Sorry, Trump supporters, but eventually it will have to be asked: Why didn't Trump do as well in his first term as he is doing NOW?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Yes sir it is.

Sure no problem officer.

I caught my neighbor leaving his 12-year-old son home alone and he has not come back in 6 hours. Should I call CPS?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?